I really appreciate the series of commercials and videos on beauty from Dove. They show how often women wish they looked different or had different qualities. Instead these videos aim to show that beauty comes in many different packages. Especially this new video where women choose which door to walk through – beautiful or average. These videos always remind me of The Help and Aibileen telling Mae Mobley, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
Many times I see very beautiful and talented women come into my office, who are going through a divorce and have lost their sense of self-worth. It doesn’t matter that they may have earned engineering degrees or had good careers or accomplished impressive things. They can only hear the negative message in their heads from the devastation of divorce.
Often these clients have chosen to postpone their careers in order to stay home and care for children. In the midst of a divorce, which can be difficult under the best of circumstances, there is the looming reality that they will need to get back into the work-force, renew licenses or certificates as well as juggle parenting children between two households or alone. This is not only true for women, but for men also.
Insecurity about who you are in the midst of a divorce combined with insecurity and uncertainty about your financial future can be crippling. My aim is to help my clients regain confidence about their financial future and in themselves.
Here are some important things to keep in mind:
- Remember you are beautiful, talented and capable of supporting yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not. Seeing a professional counselor can be very helpful to help you get back to a healthy sense of self worth.
- When you meet with your CDFA™ bring all of the financial documents you can gather and share all of your concerns. You may not recognize some little hidden pertinent piece of information that could be essential to your divorce situation.
- Start researching what it would take for you to get into a career path that you love. This is your opportunity to make the transition. If you have never had a degree, find out what it will cost for you to go back to school to get into the field you love. If you would like to go back to a previous career, look into what new certifications or education you will need to get back into the field of your choice.
- Being as exact as possible will help the divorce proceedings move along at a faster pace and will give you the confidence you need to step out on your own. I recently saw a quote on a calendar that said, “A man without a plan for the day is lost before he starts.” This is so true and it applies to so many areas of our lives.
Make sure you have a plan, before you get lost! And most of all remember this:
You are beautiful. You are talented. You are capable. You are going to make it through to a brighter day.